I am seeing more and more woman, moms talking about feeling “Not good enough”, “Tired all the time”, “touched out”, and just mentally exhausted. These are all adjectives to describe the mom burnout or the weight of the mental load of being a woman and a mom.
This is from the mental load that woman carry in their families. Women take on an enormous amount of responsibility for the functioning of their families. Its overwhelming, daunting and just plain exhausting. Everything from when does the baby need to be changed, my spouse has a work meeting tomorrow so I have to get his suit ready to the bills have to be paid, to what’s for dinner.
It is just too much. Woman in particular are afraid of disappointing others, not living up to other people’s expectations or being judged by others. These fears are in part why woman take so much on. This in particular is true when woman is “People Pleasers” or who experience the trauma response of Fawning.
We all know what I am talking about and I am sure if you are reading this you can add a million things to the list of things on mom’s mind. But what can we do about it? Here are my favorite top three things:
One of the best things that moms can do is to learn the word “No.” No is a complete sentence in and of itself with no explanation needed. No can be said to anyone at any time. Its ok to put boundaries up around what can and cannot be done. No is the perfect word to set those boundaries and too many women are afraid to use the power of the word No. Its ok to say No I can not take one more thing on.
Other things women can do is to make sure to practice self-care on a regular basis. Schedule it, just like you would schedule soccer practice for your kids or their annual physical exam. Put it on the calendar and do not sacrifice that self-care time. It is sacred and should be treated as such…. Because it is ok to say No to anything that might try to encroach on that time.
The next thing that moms can do to help with burnout is to Delegate, delegate, delegate!
Assign other people in your family tasks or chores that they can do on their own and allow them to do it there way. Let your husband cook dinner one night. What does that mean? Allow him to think about what he wants to cook for that evening, let him go through the kitchen to see what ingredients he needs to cook said meal. Let him go to the grocery store to get any missing ingredients. Let him schedule to be home to prep the meal and cook the meal. Delegate a task to members of your family and allow them ownership of the task from start to completion. This is especially true for households with kids from about 6 and up. Younger kids can set the table. Older kids can learn to do their own laundry or even start to cook dinners. Teens who are driving can stop and pick up dry cleaning or stop at the grocery store and do grocery shopping. I know many of you are thinking I can’t have my kids do that! But ya you can and you will be a much better mom for it mentally and emotionally!